After Gabe and I got married there was a trend going on showing grooms when they saw their brides for the first time. At first I thought it was cute, then I thought back to my wedding day.
We took pictures before we got married to avoid the vengeful Oklahoma August midday heat. And when Gabe first saw me he didn't swoon over me or gush about how beautiful I was. He gave me a kiss one the cheek and said "Let's get this over with." To some of you this might sound terribly unromantic. I suppose it was. Looking back on it; he was nervous, neither of us are huge fans of tons of pictures of ourselves, it was already sweltering outside and... that's just how Gabe is.
But my insecure and immature just married self got my feelings hurt because I had compared a sweet moment in other couples' wedding day to my entire wedding day.
When we got home one night I badgered my poor unknowing husband with a bunch of questions about the day we were married. I don't remember everything he said but he did say something that has stuck with me. He said "Sure you're beautiful, but that's not why I married you. I married you because you're you."
As someone who was raised in a culture that tells stories of love at first sight and husbands believing their wives were the most beautiful woman on earth the day they were married this was a blow to my ego.But I've grown up a lot since then.
And, over the past few years I have come to realize that is one of the best things about Gabe. He honestly does not care if some days he comes home and I am covered in baby vomit stains, hair a mess from my workout, and the only makeup in sight is whatever is left from yesterday.
He gets that sometimes it is a fight between cleaning the house, getting in my workout, and showering before he gets home and usually my workout wins. Or even that sometimes reading a book wins because I am so tired by the time I get Roland to nap all I want to do is lay there.
I love my husband and I am grateful that unlike me, he never fell for the fallacy that love should be largely based on physical attraction. Don't get me wrong, my husband is one handsome man. But there is so much more to him than that.