Thursday, January 29, 2015

All of those lines, they'll mean nothing...

After Gabe and I got married there was a trend going on showing grooms when they saw their brides for the first time. At first I thought it was cute, then I thought back to my wedding day.
We took pictures before we got married to avoid the vengeful Oklahoma August midday heat. And when Gabe first saw me he didn't swoon over me or gush about how beautiful I was. He gave me a kiss one the cheek and said "Let's get this over with." To some of you this might sound terribly unromantic. I suppose it was. Looking back on it; he was nervous,  neither of us are huge fans of tons of pictures of ourselves, it was already sweltering outside and... that's just how Gabe is.

But my insecure and immature just married self got my feelings hurt because I had compared a sweet moment in other couples' wedding day to my entire wedding day.

When we got home one night I badgered my poor unknowing husband with a bunch of questions about the day we were married. I don't remember everything he said but he did say something that has stuck with me. He said "Sure you're beautiful, but that's not why I married you. I married you because you're you."

As someone who was raised in a culture that tells stories of love at first sight and husbands believing their wives were the most beautiful woman on earth the day they were married this was a blow to my ego.But I've grown up a lot since then.

And, over the past few years I have come to realize that is one of the best things about Gabe. He honestly does not care if some days he comes home and I am covered in baby vomit stains, hair a mess from my workout, and the only makeup in sight is whatever is left from yesterday.

He gets that sometimes it is a fight between cleaning the house, getting in my workout, and showering before he gets home and usually my workout wins. Or even that sometimes reading a book wins because I am so tired by the time I get Roland to nap all I want to do is lay there.

I love my husband and I am grateful that unlike me, he never fell for the fallacy that love should be largely based on physical attraction. Don't get me wrong, my husband is one handsome man. But there is so much more to him than that.

Sunday, January 25, 2015


For the past few years I have had one word resolutions for the year. I like it because while I have quite a few goals in mind I really like to be reminded of the why of my goals.

2014 was purpose. As Gabe and I become parents, celebrated four years of marriage, I became pregnant again, and completed my first 1/2 marathon that word was in the back of my mind.

This year, the first week in January I was reading and became focused on the word dedication. I continued thinking about that word and what it meant, and (probably because I was thinking about it) I kept seeing and hearing the word 'dedication'.

I can't remember when it dawned on me that this was my 2015 word. I want to be more dedicated to God, to my family, and to my health. I want to remember that the effort I put in now is worth the long term outcomes. I want my husband and soon to be two children to not question their placed in my priorities. I want to show myself and my Heavenly Father that I believe in the faith that I am living. I want to set fitness and health goals, then reach and exceed them.

So here is to 2015, my year of dedication.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Your Modesty is None of My Business

I have seen several blog posts going around defining what people think modesty should be and why they dress modestly. As a Christian I follow the teachings of Christ, and part of that is being modest.
But I have yet to see a single article that addresses the real reason for modesty. And if the life (and death) of Christ teaches us anything it is that the reason behind our actions is just as important if not more so than our actions themselves.
So when did we loose the true reason behind modesty? When did we forget that what someone wears is a very small part of the overall ambiance of what modesty entails? And why are we soo obsessed with leggings?! But I digress.
The Bible addresses modesty as a sense of self.
1 Corinthians 6
19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

Modesty is about glorifying God above ourselves, making sure our actions fit our convictions and not saying "Look at me! Look at me!" whether it is literally or metaphorically.

Your modesty is about your relationship between you and God and is therefore none of my business.

While parents have a responsibility to teach their children and church leaders to lead their congregations, for the most part the teachings of Christ show that modesty isn't black and white, a list of clear rules or a checklist to be achieved.

While yes, there are guidelines to follow, if we focus on the what and not on the why we have lost the importance of modesty, which is to cultivate our relationship with God and to glorify Him in our actions and appearance.

That is what I am going to work on in my life, and if I feel like I should stop or start wearing certain articles of clothing... you'll probably never know.

Monday, January 12, 2015

Roland is 11 Months Old

This kid of ours... he is pretty fantastic. He is learning to mimic words and so far in his repertoire are "papa" "mama" (both of which he uses to refer to his father, although he has started calling me "mama" as well) "kisses" "get it" "dada" (dog) and "he da" (Heather).

Roland also uses his little walker to run around the house. He has become pretty good at twisting and turning around corners, which is humorous to watch. He loves electronic anything, books, and helping get himself dressed. We had a proud parent moment as we watched him get over his fear of vacuums the past few weeks. When the vacuum is on now he follows it around and growls at it.

We have learned over the past few months that we have a very stubborn child. This is true with learning how to walk. Roland has taken a total of three consecutive steps, several times now. But then he drops down to his hands and knees and crawls. He also will not feed himself, unless he is drinking a bottle. It does not matter what the food is or how hungry he is, he refuses. I was stressed over it at first, but now Gabe and I are amused by it and feel like he will start feeding himself in his own time. Plus, it's nice to not have to worry about him trying to eat nonfood items.

These past few months have been trying, Roland's first winter was a tough one with him getting sick countless times. I will breathe a sigh of relief when winter and flu season are over. The prayers said and research done to help our little guy have been exhaustive. I will never forget a particularly rough night as I was holding and rocking a whimpering child who did not feel good and didn't know why. I was so frustrated that I couldn't make him better, and that his medicine seemed to not be working.
But, even with all the little frustrations I am grateful for my child, for motherhood, and for a chance to love and take care of our little Roland.