Sunday, February 26, 2012

Over rivers, farms and state lines...

One of my favorite memories from freshman year came on one of the worst days of my life.

I had just returned from testifying in court, which I hated. My cousin Sarah pulled into my driveway and there was Gabe, sitting on the hood of my car. He had a bag of Starburst and a much needed hug ready and waiting for me. I went inside and changed clothes and then we went for a walk around the neighborhood.

Gabe was mocking me for being barefoot. The sidewalk was cracked with blades of grass poking through every which way. It started to sprinkle a few raindrops, but I told Gabe I wanted to keep walking and he gave in.

And then, like it does in Utah it started to downpour. We were at least three blocks from my apartment and by the time we got back to the stairs of my apartment we were soaked, out of breath and laughing uncontrollably.

All of a sudden the mood changed and before I knew it, Gabe picked me up, spun me around and kissed me.  I couldn't stop laughing, here was this guy, kissing me, in the rain like I had always imagined someone would.

After we kissed, we went up stairs to my apartment where Gabe changed into a pair of my over-sized pajamas (I had this habit of wearing my brother's giant t-shirts and basketball shorts, and a few had made their way into my college wardrobe). I threw his clothes in the dryer and hopped up on the kitchen counter. He stood facing me, once again making fun of me for my barefoot ways. We talked and talked... much longer than the time necessary for his clothes to dry.

I fell in love with Gabe that afternoon, somewhere between the rain and the kitchen I let my guard down just long enough for him to take my heart.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

I found a backup plan...

its not fair

little kids say it, teenagers whiiiiine it.... and adults simply reply "life isn't fair"

when I was a kid I HATED that answer. it almost always set me off... because I wanted things to be fair, I wanted justice

but alas, as I sit here in the middle of a lunch room full of people, from all walks of life it hits me in the face again "life isn't fair"

it isn't fair that I am able to be at such a wonderful school earning an education

it isn't fair that my professor met with me for an hour this morning to go over concepts that I didn't understand in class

it isn't fair that I have a decent paying job where my boss understands that school comes first

it isn't fair that I have a wonderful friend who lets me use her visitor pass to the gym at 6am

it isn't fair that I have a caring husband who spends countless hours serving me

it isn't fair that I have little brothers who call me to tell me all about their lives right when I need it

no... life is not fair at all. and while there are things that hurt, that I don't understand, there are also wonderful blessings and opportunities that I have been given to succeed above that which I deserve.

Monday, February 13, 2012

it started out as a feeling...

I am happy right now. Happy and at peace. I love times like this in my life and as I know they tend to be fleeting I am going to enjoy it, bask in it and document it.

Gabe and I went out to dinner tonight because I have this knack for over planning my life and then having people need just a little bit more from me. Time management is on my to do list... and I am improving at it so I'm not too worried.

While we were eating dinner there was a noticed attitude in the air, Gabe even made verbal note of it. I know romance is supposed to consist of chocolates and roses, jewelry and public displays of devotion.

But to me, romance is inside jokes and stolen glances, promises made and kept, music and food shared, late night talking and early morning running, a trip to the store for girly things and guacamole ingredients...

flowers, chocolates and jewelry are nice, I really do appreciate it. but the things I hold dear, the ones that I will forever hold close to my heart are the adventures with my favorite person, the ones we have been having since we were 14 years old.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Motherhood, chemistry and texting

I have decided that being a mother is going to be the coolest job in the world. Which sort of makes going to school difficult. It's not like a person can go to school to learn how to be a mother...

Don't get me wrong I adore learning about diseases and grant writing and the mental development of children. But what seems like more fun to me right now is diapers, and late nights, and little hands and toes.

However, that is not what I am supposed to be doing right now. Right now, I am supposed to be learning about stoichiometry and the Hantavirus and how important logic models are.

I know the importance of an education, not only for myself but for my family. I know all too well how fragile life and marriages really are. I know that no matter what, Gabe will always be there to support me but one day I might have the need to support our family financially. I know that the more educated I am, the more likely my children will be at becoming educated themselves. And so I will study and I will do homework, and visit TAs and read until my head hurts.

Right now is when I have to work, so I can play later. I know that mothers are shaking their heads at me, thinking "If only you knew how much work it is"

I don't care. I still want to do it. Because like I said, being a mother is the coolest job in the world.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

the quiet things that no one ever knows...

this weekend has been busy. and scary. and has made me grateful for those I love.

last night I received a call from my friend Laura who had just watched my sister get in a car wreck. my heart stopped for a moment. my little sister. my Emily. she is fine, she walked away with a few bruises and a need to visit the chiropractor. a girl was speeding to try and get through a red light and t-boned Emily in the process.

I went to pick her up this afternoon to go get everything out of her car. In between getting her stuff and picking her up we headed to my house and I just relished each moment we spent together. I straightened her hair and put her make up on just like we used to in high school and when we lived together in college.

car wrecks have not been kind to those I love and I was so grateful she was more than okay. that girl is tough.

when we got to the towing yard and I saw the car I was in disbelief. I had yet to see it before this and I was so shocked... leave it to Emily to downplay what happened.

(we named this car Bessie the Beast, and she really did turn out to be one...)

as we cleaned out her car, I kept noticing how everything seemed to be destroyed... except where she was sitting.
she was definitely being watched over last night. I am grateful that Heavenly Father let us keep her down here for hopefully a long time to come.

Friday, February 3, 2012

trains and tests

there are some things that I am fairly untalented in...
men's hair cuts ... and putting on makeup with anything but my fingers... and being patient... to name a few

but I think I am the worst at chemistry. I am not a dumb girl, in fact I have been told I am quite smart... in middle school they thought I was a child prodigy, and then I refused to go to their special school and they kind of let that die down. (another post, another time... turns out as introverted as I am I wasn't THAT introverted)

but there it is. chemistry. staring me in the face. and I have a test today.

all I can think of is The Little Engine that Could and let me tell you he BETTER not be in the same department as the Tooth Fairy or Santa Clause...