Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Gabe and I's living room conversation

Gabe "Hey, its that one movie with Zach Braff in it"
Heather: "which one?"
Gabe: "The one where he hits a person on a bike"
Heather: "The cloud movie???"
Gabe* confused look... ... "No... The High Cost of Living"
Heather: "Ohhh... for some reason in my mind when you said Zach Braff my brain processed Zac Efron... I was trying really hard to be supportive of your sudden interest in a teen (tween?) heart throb"
Gabe: *laughs

ahh, our children will be so blessed to be exposed to such stimulating conversation

Sunday, November 27, 2011

still learning...

clocks seem to turn at an increasing speed as this year gets older.

maybe it is because so many things have happened this year. and by things I mean life changing events. we had to grow up in a lot of ways. we had to make serious decisions, go without sleep in order to get things done, make sacrifices and choices that will forever change the path of our little family.

I am figuring out a lot of things about myself, about married life and about my wonderful husband and our future.

I am learning the patience of having to wait for things like children and a degree in a fulfilling field. I am learning how truly kind and giving my husband is, and how important it is to nourish and never abuse those qualities. I am learning that giving service to others is many times thankless but still makes my life have meaning. I am learning that my spontaneity can be a good thing. I am learning the heartbreak of watching others go through unimaginable pain and struggles and being limited in my capacity to help. I am learning the great power of prayer and how truly precious I am to my Father in Heaven. I am learning to trust the right people. I am learning what kind of home I want to have and taking charge of my part in that.

tonight we opened a bottle of sparkling grape cider and a creamy chocolate bar with almonds and honey in it. we were celebrating life and everything we have experienced this year. we were celebrating our love for one another and for those who are dear to us. we were celebrating those seemingly small triumphs that we have conquered as of late...and we really wanted a treat.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

a lot to be thankful and busy about

We had a very busy weekend:
new car
our first ever washer and dryer
our fake Thanksgiving dinner with Emily and her bo (in which I cooked everything except the turkey and potatoes. Whew, yet another first successfully executed)

And as strange as it may sound I sort of feel like the holidays are over. We're eating Thanksgiving leftovers for lunches, and who needs a better Christmas present than a washer, dryer AND a new car. But, I will thoroughly enjoy the Christmas season... As soon as finals are over and out of the way.

Until then, I can just pretend that the holidays really are finished and done with... Except for the eggnog, Christmas decorations and music, holiday cards, visiting relatives and all of those other things that I love about this time of year.

There is no escaping it, from now until the end of the semester we are going to be one busy couple!

Friday, November 18, 2011


there are a lot of things in the life I have had to define for myself. forgiveness is one of them.

I have been given ample opportunity to forgive people for horrendous things done not only to myself, but to those I love. Not exactly one of those opportunities people are vying for but nonetheless I have it.

But I have learned a lot of things from that opportunity and I feel that if I didn't there would have been a lot more mistakes made in my life of a mess sometimes.

Here are my top 3:

1. Forgiveness isn't just once.
There was a point in my life where a person hurt me so badly that even if I smelled something that reminded me of them I would get nauseated (don't worry I only threw up twice). I stopped hanging out with most of our mutual friends because I didn't want to be reminded of said person. I gained 20 pounds.
I thought I had forgiven them but soon learned that it was going to take a lot more than what I had done. I have forgiven this person over and over again. And while for the most part I no longer have to worry about getting hurt when their name is brought up and I have no idea what that smell was, there are those rare moments when I need to forgive them once again.

2. Forgiveness means not letting someone hurt you anymore.
How can you forgive someone if you are afraid that they are still going to hurt you? You can't. So there are two options in this case: You either have to trust this person or put them at a distance to where they cannot hurt you again. How do you know which one to do? That is where logic, reasoning, instinct (whether you need to learn to follow it or ignore it) and in my case spiritual guidance come in. It isn't an easy decision. For the most part, when someone hurts us that deep it means we let them in on a deep level. To let them go, or to let them in once again... That is a challenge. The distance can be emotionally, physically or altogether but being angry and running away from hurt doesn't really solve problems.

3. Forgiveness does not mean you are a doormat
Forgiving is not weak. In fact it takes quite a bit of strength, especially if a person hurt someone you love or is someone you love. But forgiveness does not mean letting someone walk all over you again and again, letting them hurt and or use you time and again. Forgiveness is for when you are finished being hurt. I am not saying that people have a forgiveness limit on them, that if the mess up on little things a few times that is it. I am saying that a person who asks your forgiveness again and again, who messes up on the big things like fidelity, loyalty, morals, etc again and again... If you say you're forgiving them, in all reality you're most likely being a doormat. I know that I said forgiveness isn't just once, but then again forgiveness isn't being stupid either. I forgave that person in my example for one incident over and over again, but I made sure I was far away from him before I did.

This is my opinion, I am bound to be wrong every once in awhile. After all I am only twenty-three. So if you don't agree... Forgive me?

Terribly cheesy... I know.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

what Harry Potter taught me...

I have seen these lists of what the Harry Potter series has taught people and I figured as much as I love the series it is about time I made one of my own:

Harry taught me to be brave, even when there were no adults around to show me how

Ron taught me that it is okay to  be angry with the ones I love, but to always come back

Hermione taught me that one day someone would love my know-it-all, book worm self

Ginny reminded me how important it is to cherish my brothers

Fred and George taught me that it was okay to have a sense of humor in any situation, even at the most seemingly inappropriate times

Dumbledore taught me to give up everything for what I truly believe in

Luna taught me to love my little sister with all her weird quirks

Neville taught me that as long as I stand up for what I believe in it doesn't really matter how incredibly dorky I was growing up

JK Rowling reminded me of the sacrifice of my single mother

These characters were my mentors, my friends. I learned some difficult lessons from them as silly as it sounds and despite the arguments that this series is poorly written it will most likely always be my favorite fiction. After all, I grew up with these characters and I hope my children will do the same.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

the one and ONLY time I will EVER attempt to cut Gabe's hair...

I am traumatized... maybe you can blame it on my hormone treatments (Gabe does) or maybe it is because I just did a HORRIBLE job cutting Gabe's hair.

It wasn't my idea... and while I can't say he made me do it, he did use his stubbornness to his (dis)advantage.

He said if I didn't cut his hair, he would do it himself, without a mirror. Now... I am wondering if that would have been the better option. I begged him to let me take him somewhere, but he argued about the expenses of buying a new car etc.

Next time I think I will just sedate him.

And yes, I know there are more important things in this world than a bad hair cut, that hair grows and that life I goes on... But I can't help feel horrible for his poor pitiful head, with a bald spot right towards the front.

I need to stick to molding the human mind and leave molding the human hair to others...

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

but now I realize forever that you're my friend

We had a pretty busy weekend:
Friday I had a doctor's appointment and was given official clearance to no longer wear my boot, two weeks early! Apparently, my bones are awesome at healing themselves and although I can only fit my still swollen foot into two pairs of my shoes, it is a start (even if I am trashing my favorite pair of moccasins by wearing them everywhere)

Saturday afternoon Emily came back into town from her seasonal job down in Zion's to stay with us for a few days while she finds a new place to live and a job (if you know of anyone hiring, she is looking for either part or full time)

Saturday night we went out for Gabe's family birthday dinner (with the number of people ever depleting with each year...)

Sunday Emily helped me make Gabe's home birthday dinner (isn't he lucky, two birthday dinners although I would say this one was much more delicious than the former)

and Sunday night a handful of rambunctious guys came over to tell Gabe happy (late) birthday and eat the rest of his Reese's Cheesecake (which caused two of them to go on a sugar high and do things like push ups in our hallway). They also tried to convince Gabe that they should all move into our apartment. Sorry boys, as much as he loves you, not happening.

did I get any pictures? Of course not... I really need to get better at that.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Gabe is the big 2-4

Today the husband turned 24. He thinks he's old. . .

I really enjoyed seeing him light up over the people who love him stopping by or giving him a phone call. We have a fun sort of mix in our family, him being the youngest and me being one of the older kids (okay, so I was the middle child... whatever). Gabe's family calls and talks, my family calls and sings Happy Birthday obnoxiously (this is still my favorite part of my birthday wishes, and it has become one of his). I would say it is a healthy dose of both.

As I sit here watching him do homework, while I work on his final birthday present (aren't I oh so punctual) a little smile sneaks across my face as I realize that this is the man I get to spend the rest of forever with.

Well, that was him about 15 years ago... such a cute little kid.

Happy Birthday Gabe, thanks for letting me be a part of the past 10 years of your life and all the ones to come.

Love you.