Sunday, October 30, 2011

Happy Nerd-aween

Gabe and I decided to embrace the nerdiness that is us this Halloween.
He has always been a big Legend of Zelda fan and I have always loved Harry Potter. Both of us probably to an unhealthy level at times...

Here are our pumpkins. It is worthy to note that this is Gabe's first time to ever carve a pumpkin and I drew out my design all by myself. This is also our first year really celebrating Halloween together. It is so nice not to be sick all the time, it makes celebrating holidays much more enjoyable.

Oh and what are we dressing up as? Jim and Pam from The Office... but those pictures will have to come later.


Thursday, October 27, 2011

when all you got to keep is strong, move along

Maybe this was the reason I loved running cross country so much in high school, maybe this is the reason that I still crave those wonderfully gruesome long runs. Maybe this is the reason that when life becomes seemingly overwhelming one of my first urges is to grab my running shoes and a playlist.

Because I know I can conquer those runs. I know I can keep on going and somehow whenever I am at the end my brain translates the thinking that if I just finished that run, then I can conquer whatever lies ahead of me.

I have complained about my surgery and not running, a lot. But if I am honest with myself in the end, that surgery will allow me to run faster and further. While I am still frustrated that I am in this limbo, without it I would have to quit long before I was ready. With it I can be hopeful that I will be running for many years to come.

I keep saying that I will be ready for when this boot is off and I can take off once again. Maybe what I should be focusing on is the things I can do, those exercises and the training that will get me ready for another long run when the time comes.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

streams of mercy, never ceasing

today was lovely.

we woke up in time to pop 10 little bags of popcorn for the class we teach of 7 year-olds at church. people say you shouldn't bribe your children with food. good thing those adorable yet rambunctious children are not ours ;)

we took a glorious nap, it was such a gorgeous day a walk would have been fantastic. maybe next week I can hobble around a little better, or a ride up the canyon in the car, windows down, breeze blowing would be wonderful. today sitting outside on the lawn sufficed.

I need to take more pictures. . .  this time in our lives seems to be ever fleeting

Saturday, October 22, 2011

my legacy

These are my maternal grandparents, James and Carol to some but Momo and Popo to me. These two people are part of my legacy, a reason why I am proud to be a member of my family, and an entity of who I am.

My grandparents were married when my Momo was only seventeen years old. They love one another so much.

My Momo's obituary says she was a homemaker; that word cannot begin to encompass what this woman achieved while she was alive. However, she would have been more than okay with people knowing her as such. She was a mother, a grandmother, a leader, a force that only the brave (or stupid) reckoned with and so much more. She was a southern woman who loved her family and foremost did her best to serve God.

I remember hearing the story of her losing my uncle when he was only five days old and her choice to turn to Heavenly Father. Because of this, I am a member of a wonderful church, I do my best to serve others and during my darkest trials I have learned to turn to Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father as well.

I remember several stories of my mom getting in the car after school, excited at the groceries that included "the good stuff" only to find out they were being taken to someone who was in more need than her family.

I remember thinking that my grandmother was especially hard on me, only to learn that was because she knew what I was capable of. I remember my grandmother stoking my hair and singing me to sleep, when we would spend the night at her place. She did that the last night she was alive.

I remember her laugh, her whole body shaking, tears being wiped away. I remember her begging my mom to leave the abusive relationship she was in.

I remember her homemade comfort food, her biscuits and gravy. I remember in high school, right before I was about to make a really stupid decision seeing her disapproving face and deciding that actually it was time to go home.

I see my Popo still serving, still carrying on. I listen to him as he gives me advice on life and tells me stories from the days of the railroad and police force. I hear his southern drawl as he talks to each one of his children and grandchildren in a loving and most of the times teasing way.

I love my grandpa's nicknames for me: Houston, Miss America, Miss Universe...

I remember the last time I was over at his house. My little brother Benji decided to show off his balancing skills to Gabe by tediously standing by the edge of the pool on one foot. Of course, he fell in. As soon as my Popo made sure Benji was safe and out of the pool he came into the house laughing  with that same entire body, red in the face, tears streaming down his face that my Momo had. He even fell on the floor. (He then went and helped Benji into one of his old t-shirts and apologized about laughing, but not before he retold his version to everyone in the house.)

I respect my grandfather almost more than any other man. I love him so much and I am glad that he is such an example to me in my life.

There are so many more stories I could tell about my grandparents, and plenty that others have to tell. Most of them are about service, many of them are humorous, and about love.

This is my legacy, this is what I have to look forward to. And while I am not saying they are perfect, I am saying I am proud to be able to say they are my grandparents, that they are my legacy.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

as long as your heart's beating, it should never beat alone. . .

I am off crutches!!!  I have a love hate relationship with crutches; I hate using them and love to see them go. To think this could actually be the last time I will be on crutches is a pretty happy thought. We shall hope.

School seems to see how far it can push us. This semester has found a few all-nighters already, and I am sure there are at least a few more in store for us. But, we both really enjoy what we are studying and know that we are working towards so many worthwhile goals.

Is that selfish? To be worrying about our goals and what we want our future to hold? I used to think so, that if I wasn't constantly worrying about others and helping them that somehow I wasn't living up to my potential. But it turns out that it is quite the opposite. If I don't focus on myself somewhat, if I don't worry about our little family's needs THEN I am not living up to my full potential.

I am a firm believer that life is all about finding the balance in things. For me, right now, that means finding the balance between taking care of my husband and myself before I take care of others.

With school and church and extended family and friends, it is going to be a challenge.

I like a good challenge.

Monday, October 17, 2011

the fall out of the collision between food and life

With my surgery and other medical issues I have been really sick as of late...

Which means that Gabe had to pick up the slack. He has done laundry and dishes and even picked up my ever growing pile of clothes :/

But one thing he hasn't done is cook. He has this abhorrence towards cooking for some reason, which means we have gone out a lot. It gets interesting trying to make sure we all get the right amount of nutrients and still eat out. Some nights we would spend more and go to places that had better nutrition, other nights it would be like uhh extra lettuce on the burgers and cook sweet potato fries at home.

I wish there wasn't that exchange of nutrition for money but it seems like whether we are eating out or eating at home that is how it is.

But when you think about it, the exchange is worth it. One of my immediate relatives was just diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. Obesity is the largest growing (no pun intended) endemic in the United States and the health issues that stem from it are endless.

So I will continue to find ridiculous ways to try and eat more healthy in our ever so busy lives. And, hopefully I will start cooking again tonight.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

I navigate these crooked paths. . .

Autumn feels like spring for me, in the sense that it brings a rebirth with all sorts of new possibilities.

Maybe it is the start of the school year, or the start of another cold winter that hasn't quite arrived. I am not sure...

Either way I relish in days like today where I am all caught up (when does that ever happen?) and I can just sit and listen to a new album and soak up all the carefully chosen words and chords, listening to the private and yet obvious meanings behind each line of music and verse. Remembering moments and events that relate or knowing that some experiences I will never share with those of the lyricist.

It is time to simplify my life a little more. Get rid of the things that do not fit with my goals and dreams and add the aspects that have been missing.

But for now, even if just a moment I am simply going to listen and allow myself to feel all those things that I have pushed away because of time constraints or my tendency to not see certain truths.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Gabe and I's gmail conversation...

Gabe:  wow....
 me:  nice huh?
 Gabe:  yeah
 me:  I can't tell if they're terrorists or scam artists
 Gabe:  probably terrorists
(he is looking for a replacement watch because just like everything else we own, his finally broke)

Stimulating conversation, I know. We are going to solve the world peace dilemma on gmail chat one of these days, I can feel it.

Monday, October 10, 2011

if only there was such a thing as testing gods....

I'm trying desperately to study for a test I have at 5pm. They have already rescheduled this test for me because it was last week from Wednesday to Friday, which is when I was in the hospital for minor things.

Well my brain is a fog and I cannot seem to concentrate for more than five minutes (hence the blogging I suppose). I can't remember what I studied 5 minutes ago and I am hoping that the notes I've taken all semester become a little more clear because right now I have NO idea what that little arrow that is pointing to the words 'very importante" (... sometimes I write in Spanglish...) is for.

Wish me luck? Say a prayer? Make a sacrifice to the testing gods in my behalf?

I'll take any of the above kind gestures

Saturday, October 8, 2011

my weekends need to start being more than me just soaking in much needed aspects of my life...

I tried so hard the last part of this week to concentrate on my homework, on studying for my mid-term I have coming up. On organizing my mess of clothes. On doing anything productive. But due to minor foot surgery Wednesday, pain meds and /or utter exhaustion I watched six of the eight Harry Potter movies and slept. When I say I watched Harry Potter, it really means I would start one of the movies and have background noise while I fell asleep which lead to weird dreams about me being magic and in the hospital wing at Hogwarts while the nurses and missionaries performed medical spells on me. I know... I brought it upon myself.

Last weekend wasn't much more productive in the school sense (I promise I do homework and other necessary college things.When? I am not sure...) but it was both productive and necessary in every sense of my sanity and well being.

Last weekend was general conference where I was able to hear from men and women of God, where I was able to reaffirm my own faith in Jesus Christ and His atoning sacrifice, where I once again remembered why it is I am in school, and work so hard, and even sometimes why I am a nice person. I was reminded how much my Father in Heaven loves me, Heather, personally and perfectly. I was told time and time again not only what an amazing person I am but even more the potential of what I can become.

Remembering last weekend reminds me that even though the past few weeks have been rough, that it is all okay in the end.