Thursday, June 30, 2011


dignity is an interesting word. it is one that is linked to triumph, defeat, tragedy and our greatest strengths, fears and weaknesses. in a world that seems to give most attention to not just the squeaky but the screaming wheel. few of those with dignity are recognized and even less of those are given the respect they deserve.

we live in a world where politicians who 'finally tell the truth' are considered more courageous than those real men who support and love their families everyday.

a world where it is okay to scream and yell and spit as long as you're on the right side of a cause

a world where the microphone is given to ke$ha to say her New Years resolution is "to not be a douche"

and dignity seems to be something deemed to be important to the royal family and those who are dying. I like being able to define things and so I looked up the definition of dignity:

nobility or elevation of character; worthiness: dignity of sentiments.

and then it made sense to me. to have dignity is to rise above the world, the whiners and those who play the victim. to have dignity is to be above average and normal.

in a world where we give trophies to the losing little league team and steroid use is no longer a surprise, what do we expect? where lindsey and britany get news coverage for too many drugs and not wearing enough clothes, what exactly is it that we are teaching the general population?

dignity is not the first word that comes to mind. and so once again, just like the nutrition of children, it is up to the parents to teach children how to behave with dignity.

not that I am surprised... it might take a whole village to raise a child, but it takes attentive and loving parents to raise them correctly.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

I want to astonish myself...

today I came across this quote by Thomas Edison:
if we did all the things we are capable of doing we would literally astonish ourselves.

I believe this is entirely true. Last night, Gabe stayed up late writing an essay to apply for his program at the Marriot School. He has worked so hard this summer, working full-time and taking classes so he can start his major in the fall.
And he has astonished me by what it is he has accomplished both in school and at work.

He has also inspired me to continue to astonish myself.
As I came to school here I was astonished that I drove across country all on my own to try out a life that I believed could make me better.
Last semester I astonished myself with the best grades I have had since my brain injury a few summers ago.

This summer I haven't done nearly enough to reach all those things I am capable of. There has been too much TV watching and not enough book reading, too many sweets and not enough runs, too much thinking about me and not enough about others, too much time wasted and not enough spent purposefully.

So this is my goal (no worries I am slowly checking off my list from earlier this summer): to continually work towards astonishing myself, and to see the potential Heavenly Father has for me manifest itself in my life.

This goal will never be finished, it will never be checked off, and perhaps that is why I am so fond of it.

Friday, June 24, 2011

My heart hurts...

more than it has in longer than I can remember.

Tuesday June 21st a family that is very near and dear to me suffered a terrible tragedy.

While moving cross country, they were in a horrible car accident that left one sweet 14 year-old dead, two daughters seriously injured and the rest of the family shaken up. I am still kind of in a daze about it all. This family has been through so much already and I thought their troubles were finally coming to an end.

At times like this I struggle to understand the specific plans that our Father in Heaven has for each of us. But, more than that I am grateful that I know their family will be together once again and that this will be but a small moment in their existence. In no way do I wish to menialize what has happened to them but only to offer hope.

I am also setting up a benefit concert but in the meantime ask if any of you have even a few dollars to spare to help out if you can. This family has enough to worry about without medical costs and funeral expenses.

How to help: Click here

A few pictures of Jada:

and a picture of the family (this is a few years old):

Thursday, June 16, 2011

facing fears and hoping it will turn out

I have had this business idea for awhile now, I have even had a few clientele and the reviews are positive thus far.
Now, I am making a website and expanding my services past referrals.

More news to come but I will have it up and running by the end of this week.

Having my own 'business' in college? scary.
finally living out a dream? worth the scary.

I am excited to see what happens.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Weddings and Credit Cards

this weekend we went to our dear friend Mark's wedding. his wife Chelsea is pretty awesome too. it was a beautiful wedding, in the Mt. Timpanogos temple

we loved it and it reminded us of the promises we made to each other a little under a year ago. however, when we got to the reception things got a little interesting.

all day people had been giving me weird looks, I assumed that either a.) my level of paranoia was higher than usual b.) there was a boogie sticking out of my nose or c.) they were all as smitten by my awesome new hair as I was.

the answer was d.) someone told everyone that I was Mark's high school girlfriend or Prom date or whatever.

fun right? I soon corrected the family member who was brave enough to ask by letting them know Gabe and Mark have been friends practically since birth and that Mark and I were close friends but that was all we were. at first I was extremely embarrassed but then embarrassment turned to amusement and now it is one of Gabe and I's favorite jokes...

All is well that ends well though and I was so excited to see two people so happy and full of life.

and as for credit cards we have been doing our research lately and is there really any reason to own one? with APRs and annual fees and all the confusion it annoys me that they seem to be one of the easiest ways to build personal credit. you have to spend money to have good credit... you have to spend even more money have better credit.

seems a little silly to me

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

I have the coolest cousins ever

my cousin came with her husband and kids a few weeks ago. she called me on Friday night and said "I want to come see your apartment" and she did. then they bought us lunch the next Monday (JDawgs and Gatorade, I have the best family) while baby girl napped and then woke up and toddler boy played with toys. my cousin and I talked and so did our husbands. they reminisced about being in college while Gabe and I looked at them hoping we would some day be finished with it all. and as always I enjoyed their kids far too much. I'm okay with not having any kids of my own at the moment but I love playing with other people's kids. I love watching them discover things and wonder what they are thinking in their little heads. and usually they are just so cute (especially my family... we all make pretty cute kids)

their visit made me think about my extended family and all of our relationships. I remember being the awkward cousin. No one was really my age, so I went in between playing with my younger cousins and trying to be cool enough for the older ones. I remember one time when I stayed over on a Saturday night but didn't have church clothes, so Carrie and Sarah played dress up with me and Carrie's wardrobe. They said I looked like I was trying to be much older than I was, I secretly loved it.

when we got a little older my cousin Amy and I had some awesome adventures that included a cross country road trip and a few concerts.

when I first came to college my cousin Sarah and her family were my home away from home. there was plenty of tears and laughter shared, and I stole their Doritos (another story, another post). they made fun of the dorks I dated and her husband intimidated the punks. I loved it.

when I got married, my cousin-in-law Breanna offered to make two amazing cakes for our reception as our present. they looked and tasted amazing.

that's my family... and those are my cousins. I love the examples I have of moms and women. I love the memories of being soo awkward but still being accepted, and I love that when my cousins are in town, even for a few days they stop by and spend some time.

Monday, June 6, 2011

why is it

that when someone really disappoints me my immediate reaction is to want to punch them? usually in the face...

It is irrational but, there it is.
**just for the record I have never punched anyone in the face except my siblings when we were all being too rambunctious when I was maybe the ripe age of 7**

when I say disappointment I am not talking about someone standing me up to hang out I mean disappointment because I have discovered they actually are kind of a jerk of a human being. people disappoint me over and over, and I go through this cycle

anger- hence the punching in the face
ignoring- because I don't want to face the fact that they disappointed me
denial- I try to justify their actions
disgust- when I finally realize that they really did disappoint
helplessness- because everyone isn't what I hold them up to be
disappointment- in them for doing it and in me for believing they were better than that
a long run with some good music- because this is what I do to get my emotions out

maybe it isn't the healthiest... but at least no one gets punched