a doormat or a force to be reckoned with?

I am going to start this with a precursor... maybe that is not the best way to start a post but nonetheless that is how this one will start.
Precursor---> I was up until 3am working on a group project... by myself (with a little help from my husband, because unlike my group he has to live with me and when I'm stressed I sing to myself and he was trying to play a video game... wow I'm rambling... but I warned you) I then woke up at 9:30 to continue work on said project and finally finished about ten minutes ago.

So, I might not be all the way awake... or sane at this point. You know that is a possibility. If you have ever taken an abnormal psychology class you know that stress can bring about mental illnesses such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder especially from the ages of 18- 25 (and that is when we go to college... why?!) but the likelihood of me loosing it over a group/ Heather does all the work project is highly unlikely. If that amount of stress would have caused me to go over the edge it would have happened a long time ago.

ANYWAYS... The point of this post is that I am not very pleased with myself at the moment. Somehow, I landed the job of staying up until 3am working on a group project that I have planned and executed much by myself even before last night. And I did it. Sure, I cursed my group member's very existence several times over last night, and then when I finally did get to bed I had dreams about one of the members stealing our book and asking for a ransom in the form of an iPad for it. But the point is, I did it. Why?! Why didn't I just not do it and let them fall on their faces? Because that would mean me falling as well. And I don't want to. So the question I am still trying to figure out about myself is this: Am I a doormat or a force to be reckoned with? I suppose that one could say I will end up learning the most out of this project (like proofreading at 3am is NOT a good idea and now I know how to use Microsoft Publisher and Photoshop beyond what I will probably ever need again) but... does it matter?

The rest of my group wasn't willing to figure out how to do those things (one of them is in Mexico, one was at Jazz game and the other drove home to SLC and went to bed). But, what if I would have said NO! I have planned this entire project out, I have delegated work and then had to redo it because all you did was copy and paste from articles online, and I had to reformat almost every single picture because you wouldn't take the time to upload it in the right format. I am NOT going to make this book by myself. What would have happened? Would somebody else have stepped up and done it? Sad to say, out of this group... I doubt it.

So what does that make me? A doormat or a force? Maybe I'll get back to you on that one...

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