Friday, July 30, 2010

I'm ready...

to be off of work for two weeks

for school to start again

to see my little brothers

to see all of my family and friends from back home

to not have to worry about invitations, hair dos, make up, dresses, travel plans, who is staying where and how to accommodate to everyone....


to be married to my best friend... forever

Sunday, July 25, 2010

some days i learn more than others...

so...
as of late i have been insanely busy (shock shock, so is everyone else, and i'm getting married) but with all that busy i have learned a few things... about myself and others

1. I am not nearly as patient as I should be
I've probably said this more than once, even on here. But the more I am in a relationship with someone where I can't just take some time away from and the more I work with people, the same people on a daily basis...
the more I realize I have a lot to work on. but i also realized that I like patience... its actually a really good thing to realize I just waited for someone for nearly 20 minutes when they said it would be 5 and I didn't get irritated. being patient makes me a nicer person... not the let everyone walk all over me nicer. but the, i am actually pleasant to be around nice.

and who could argue with that being a good thing?

2. I am actually a pretty shy person
I have a comfort zone where people are concerned and I am not one to stray from it... which is an odd realization for me... I think it came into play when I started to get to know my in laws better. and I am so glad that they are becoming a part of my comfort zone, especially the ones out here where I live. it makes the transition to married life that much easier
that being said... want to know the thing i dread the most about the wedding? that it's all about me... (and Gabe, but after all i'm the girl in the pretty white dress) I am dreading the fact that everyone will be looking at me... focusing on me. i'm not sure i know how to handle that. i enjoy being in the background of things

3. I really enjoy simplicity...
i've discovered this even more so lately and i have been making wedding choices. i like the more simple ring, the more simple cake,... etc. the point is most things in my life that are not within my control are quite complex and so i think that i just like to keep it simple when they are

4. It's a lot easier for me to forgive complete strangers who have done mean things than it is those I love...
this seems entirely backwards to me... but it's true. it is so much easier for me to forgive that kid who completely trashed the room he was staying in (and to top it all off stopped up the toilet with urine and feces and a double decker) than someone who thought ill of me a year or two ago who i am now related to. he got over it, why can't i?
.... i'm working on it. and that is something I love about the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that me forgiving said person is a good thing and therefore I know I am not alone in the endeavor. I have the support of God and Jesus Christ every step of the way... not to mention an understanding fiance who loves me and helps me to become a better person every day


it's interesting that when I stop to think about what it is I actually want, and who it is I want to be with that I come to all of these self realizations... both negative and positive. not that it's a bad thing...