everything you want....

so, there is this low budget indie film, with terrible acting, horrible costuming and possibly a weak plot that my roommate and i love

it is called everything you want

SPOILER ALERT... i'm going to ruin the twist in the plot right about...

now: its a story about a girl who has a boyfriend... who turns out to be imaginary. which would be fine is this was a story about a little girl. however, its not. it is about someone in college... so its kind of twisted. i mean, who does that?! but then again who doesnt... there is a part in the movie where said girl and boyfriend are talking about relationships when they say:

people rarely love others for who they really are but for what they want them to be

and so in a sense each of us has that imaginary person. the person we build up to be more than they really are and so when they dont turn out to be exactly what we imagined we get disappointed. or we compare all others to that person and of course they do not measure up

and i suppose by we i mean i and by us i mean i...
and its stopped me from being able to really like anyone for quite some time. i start to get interested in someone and i just pick them apart flaw by flaw... because it's easier than taking a chance. shooting something down before it has started seems to hurt a lot less than previous heart breaks.

and i dont think i'm ready to start anything new... but i do think i'm ready to stop comparing...

one step at a time, right?

hey, at least i dont have an imaginary boyfriend...

but in all truth i think love is about finding that person with flaws, that drive you insane, and being able to just shake your head and laugh at them because they are so amazing you can look past all those things and see what they really are. and not try to change them, but just love them and know that they love you.
and of course that is over simplified... but, at the same time some of my favorite parts of life are the simply beautiful pieces.

some of the simple wonders:
music
longboarding
inside jokes
laughing
rocking chairs
park swings
green grass
letters
jeans, tshirt and flip flop weather
naps

wow, and there is some random.
next time maybe i'll write about something a little more complex. like chemistry, and how i discovered why diet dr pepper lifts my mood because of the amino acid in it...

maybe

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