Tuesday, July 11, 2017

I adore the 4th of July; fireworks, watermelon, swimming, concerts, sparklers, cliche matching outfits being acceptable... it is the one holiday that I don't mind practically melting in the heat.

This year we were set to head down to Oklahoma to spend the holiday with my oldest brother and his kids, my mom, stepdad, and younger brothers.

Sunday night, after a surprise birthday get together for one of Gabe's oldest friends, I packed everyone's bags (except Gabe, man can pack himself) and measured out our ridiculous ration of diapers, extra underwear, formula, and little human snacks

Monday morning I woke up feeling exhausted, and long story short ended up with an IV due to dehydration, and three days in bed. Our 4th was mostly Gabe and the kids. They popped firecrackers and dressed accordingly.

 The kids jumped on the trampoline, went swimming in the kiddie pool, and watched movies.

I ventured out for fireworks, laying in an empty kiddie pool while Zelda crawled around me, and Hazel went between being delighted for and terrified of the small array of fountains, sparklers, and roman candles we had purchased.

Roland was SO excited, he could hardly contain himself. Several times he jumped, danced, and screamed from pure excitement. It was fun to watch Gabe show him the ropes, and at times stand between him and the sparks.

And although we missed our extended family (Roland cried for almost an hour when he found out we weren't going), we enjoyed what turned out to be a much more low key holiday than expected.

Monday, June 5, 2017

Hazel turns 2!

Our dearest Hazel Evangeline,
                                       We are so grateful to have you in our lives. Your squeaky voice, spunky personality, the way you have a special relationship with each member of the family, your love for music; especially dancing, the way you choose to climb up to the tallest slide every time, and declare your love for the color pink loudly, the way you say "Lobe you!" and give little kisses, the way you fight tooth and nail for what you want, even if it is the toy your brother has, how you enjoy eating bread and your favorite drink is water... each one of these things contribute to who you are.

Thank you for being a part of our lives these past two years. I remember jogging around with a fussy baby at 4AM wondering if I would ever sleep again... and here you are sleeping through the night. No, I do not wish I could go back to those sleepless nights. But I do wonder when you think you will be too old to crawl into bed with big brother, or mom and dad.

I love the relationship you have with your brother and sister. You chase after Roland and imitate so much of what he does. You hug and squeeze Zelda, sometimes a bit too tight. But they both absolutely adore you.

The way you look at me, makes me want to take on the world, and show you just what it is you can accomplish.

Two things we love about you:
1. Your affection; you do such a good job at showing each of us how much you love us.
2. Your imagination; the way you play with your toys, and can find entertainment in almost anything amazes us.

We are excited to see where you take this life Teeny. Happy 2nd Birthday darling girl.

Friday, May 26, 2017

No one deserves to be forgotten...

The past few weeks we have been purging and downsizing our personal items. As we sort through memories and mess it is easy to reflect on our life the past seven years.

It is interesting to see things that were once so important that no longer hold a purpose for us. Whether we outgrew them (here's to you RocknPlay, and all the times you helped our baby sleep longer), or they just don't fit in our priorities (I'm talking to you half finished crafts).

Call it depression, call it perspective; but when a life is shortened or an ideal falls short the trivial seems to fall to the wayside.

Adam's ashes are still sitting in our glove compartment. I know they aren't him, but at the same time it is what we have left. I haven't figured out where to scatter them, so I leave them there as part of a memory to a song we used to sing about the wrong name for said compartment. We say hello whenever we open it, where he sits among extra napkins and proof of insurance.

We were supposed to take family pictures last month, but I couldn't bring myself to get in front of the camera. So our photographer chased our littles around instead.

Hazel turns two tomorrow, and I hate that I can't fully enjoy the celebration. I promise I am trying.

I suppose that can sum up most of my life right now; I promise, I am trying.